The Judge Squared

Today in my R.I.M.® training, I met a familiar character… my inner Judge.

Turns out, my Judge looks a lot like one of those BIG RED BUZZER BUTTONS. You know the kind — when something’s off, it slams the button and goes: BUZZZZ! You did it wrong! BUZZZZ! You should have been there for that one! BUZZZZ! That wasn’t good enough!

But then, I discovered another Judge behind the scenes. This one has a gavel — quietly listening to the buzzer and deciding how I should feel about what just happened.

That’s when it hit me: it’s not the buzzer that makes me feel bad. It’s my judgment of the judgment that stirs up guilt, shame, anxiousness, or even pride.

The buzzer Judge is simply doing its job — it points things out. The gavel Judge interprets it, and that’s where the real judgment and emotional storms begin.

What I realized is that the first Judge isn’t the problem. It’s actually part of my inner team — trying to alert me when something feels off, to keep me safe and aware.

I see now that the second Judge is the one that needs a velvet glove — to soften its judgment and listen with discernment.

If you think about it, the first Judge is simply giving feedback. And I have a choice: to meet it with more judgment and criticism… or to meet it with curiosity, compassion, and wisdom. Only then can I gain insight instead of guilt, fear, or upset.

Today, I thanked my Judge for a job well done.

Next time you hear that loud BUZZ, pause before you let the gavel fall. What if, instead of judging the judgment, you just listened for the message underneath? You might just find it’s trying to help you grow.

What does your inner Judge sound like? If you’d like to discover, reach out.

I’m Nanor Ohanesian, PCC — a Leadership & Life Coach who partners with leaders, teams, and individuals to unlock awareness, empowerment, and action so they can be unstoppable in achieving meaningful success.